One of the other unforeseen age-related issues that we have run into while planning our wedding is one that many of you brought up in your comments: getting vendors to take us seriously as adults.
As I've mentioned before, not only are Mr. Star and I actually young-ish, but we look even younger. I have been able tell from the look on their faces that a lot of these Manhattan vendors have not taken us seriously from the moment we walked in. A few vendors have actually said something out loud about it.
There's one really simple fix for this: don't give them your money. I have walked away from one florist who didn't seem to be taking me seriously, and there are so many amazing vendors out there who will be thrilled and excited to be working on your wedding (there really are, it's great)!
If, however, there's some reason why you can't just pick up and change vendors (like there's only one florist in town or you're really in love with your venue like we are), there are a few things you can try!
1. Professionalism in your interactions. A lot of us use half a dozen exclamation points or misspelled wordz (haha, I can't pull that one off) in our facebook wall posts or instant messaging. I am totally guilty of this myself. But when it comes to emailing a potential wedding vendor, that kind of stuff has to go. This may seem obvious, but I think it really makes a big difference when you take the time to write a cohesive, edited email.
2. Dress up! I'm a big proponent of dressing nicely to get people to take you seriously. Sad as it may be, people do judge you by the way you look and how you present yourself. I never went to meet with a vendor without making sure I looked nice. I even made Mr. Star throw on a nice shirt and coat to come with me to put the deposit down on our loft:
I didn't get him out of jeans, but he's at least wearing a sports coat!
3. Have a clear idea of what you want and what your budget is. Even though I don't know a lot about flower names or how many tiers of cake I needed, I always brought inspiration pictures along with me to show my vendors. Many of them really appreciated getting a look at what I wanted when I wasn't able to clearly articulate it in an expert way and I think it helped them to take me seriously as an adult who knows what she wants. One thing I didn't always do was walk into a meeting knowing exactly what I was able to spend and I now think that was a mistake.
4. Know what is and isn't fair. Have an idea of what comparable vendors are charging in your area. This is the best way to not get taken advantage of, no matter what your age.
5. Research the vendor and his or her past work/events. I tried to do my homework on each vendor before I went in to talk with them by checking our their online portfolios or researching reviews on yelp! or Weddingbee, if possible! This gives you something to chat about with your vendor, lets him or her know that you know what you're talking about, and might even inspire you for your own wedding!
Hopefully, some of these tips will help you and your young-ish sweetie get taken seriously when you meet with the people who are helping to create your special day.
What vendor troubles have you run into? Have all of yours taken you seriously?
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