During the process of writing our own ceremony, I've come up against a few logistical issues that have me stumped. One of these is how to acknowledge our many gay friends and our appreciation for their support of an institution that they are not yet allowed to partake in.
You see, like many others, we have a lot of very special people in our lives who are homosexual. And marriage equality has become an issue that has meant a lot to me in recent years -- Mr. Star and I have participated in many rallies and marches in support of our friends. In fact, when we go to the marriage bureau to apply for our marriage license, it will be bittersweet for us. Sweet, because we will be thrilled to be getting one step closer to being married. Bitter, because the last time we were there was during a protest that many had hoped would change things for the better in New York State.
Most of our family and friends feels as we do, but we do have a few family members who do not. I'm straddling the line between being true to our beliefs and our values on our wedding day and not offending those who don't agree. I want to make our wedding ceremony about us and what we believe, but I'm trying not to be an inconsiderate bride, as well. The line is narrow, indeed.
I'd also love to hear from anyone with the perspective of having been at a wedding when you yourself were not allowed to get married -- would you find a mention of it thoughtful or offensive? I'm just trying to get some feedback about what people think the best way to honor our friends and our beliefs is.
The way I see it, we have one of a few options.
- Have one of our friends do a reading about it during the ceremony. Something like a short excerpt from the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, maybe? Any better ideas?
- Have my stepfather make a short, slightly-veiled reference to everyone being able to marry whomever they choose sometime during the marriage address
- Don't mention it out loud at all and just put a note in the program
- Include it in a toast at the reception and leave it out of the ceremony altogether
- Avoid the issue and don't mention it at all
If marriage equality is an important issue to you, how have you come up with ways to honor it in your own wedding?
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