Wedding things that get me giddy

Sometimes the stress of wedding planning really gets to me and I just want to tear my hair out. Somewhere in between my printer refusing to print our wedding maps, or getting told at the post office (incorrectly) that our invitations would cost nearly $2 to mail, or having out-of-towners complain about the cost of travelling to NYC, I end up seriously stressed out.

Why, oh why, did I need a Manhattan wedding filled with DIY details when we could've just gone to the courthouse? I sometimes ask myself in these moments.

Just when I think I can't take it anymore, a precious little detail turns everything around for me. I ordered a custom-made return address stamp from Etsy to use on the RSVP postcards and on the back flap of our invitation envelopes:

I love our gorgeous little stamp made by Etsy seller modernartstamps! Seeing our names together with our address on our own little stamp put this huge grin on my face because it somehow made it real that we're together and we're a team and this is our home and that's all that really matters.

I've had several of these moments throughout the course of our planning. What details have gotten you giddy in the midst of wedding stress?

Polka Dotted Cake

I've known every since we decided to incorporate polka dots into our wedding scheme that a polka dotted cake would be the perfect way to showcase the theme at the reception!

There sure are a lot of different ways to do polka dots on a cake, though! Surprisingly many! I'd love to share a few of them with you and get your feedback.

I like this one because I love the idea of having a polka dot cake with a differently-decorated tier in the middle. Plus, the green is so cute!

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This one is in our colors! And aren't those black bows just too cute to eat? Only thing is, I really want black with white polka dots like the rest of our current polkas.

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Look at this cute little thing! How flirty are those big, white dots? That cake stand has me drooling, too...

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I had to include this one because it's just a fabulous representation of a polka dotted cake, but come to think of it, it really doesn't fit in with our wedding at all. The style is adorable, but it's a little too cutesy for the city vibe we've got going. I love pink weddings done right, though.

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This one is probably closest to the current vision I've had going on in my head. You might recognize it from my teensy little inspiration board!

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This Martha cake is darling, of course. I love that the dots are different sizes and that they're more three-dimensional.

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So what do you think? Which one do you think fits the style of our wedding the best?

POLL:

A. Green polka and stripes cake

B. Big black bows cake

C. Itty bitty black cake

D. Pink polka cake

E. Chocolate polka cake

F. Blue Martha polka cake

Something Old, Something New, Something...Well, You Get the Point

So far, I've shown you a lot of my little DIY projects and talked a lot about where our wedding will be, why it is the way it is, what we're going through emotionally. But you haven't seen a lot of what I'll be wearing besides my shoes. And since the bride's outfit is always one of my favorite parts of any wedding I attend, I figured I'd start showing you some attire details!

(Photo credit Etsy Seller ParisPennsylvania)

For now, my something old is another Etsy purchase. I bought this vintage French lace to use on my second veil (so this is a *sneak peek* because I'm not finished with it yet!) and it was a steal at just a couple of dollars a yard. If anyone needs interesting trim for something, I highly recommend this Etsy seller. She gets a lot of her supplies from buying out retiring wholesalers and people who have had this stuff for a long time, so it's actually vintage! I'm still hoping to get a different something old from the in-laws, but if I don't (more on that later), this is it!

My something new is, of course, my fabulous dress. I know I haven't shown it to you yet. I know I'm a tease.

My something borrowed is a sparkly tennis bracelet from my Mom that she wore when she married my stepfather five years ago. It's beautiful in person; my picture doesn't do it justice. I'm so glad that I'll have something of hers with me on that day.

My something blue is a polka dotted garter made by Etsy seller GarterLady. It was one of my first wedding purchases and I LOVE that I will be wearing some polka dots that day. And yes, it does say "I love New York" on it. Because I do. I think the blue on it is just gorgeous, don't you?

I've tried to pick somethings that really reflect who I am as a person and who my family is. I love France (and speak French), I love vintage, I love sparkles, I love polka dots, I love New York, etc. How do your somethings reflect who you are?

Crazy Calligraphy

So while our invites are just being sent out this week and I can't yet share those with you, I would love to share a little piece of their DIY goodness: the outer envelopes.

When I first started dreaming about our wedding invitations, visions of letterpress and professional calligraphy danced through my head. Then, reality set in. We didn't have the budget to splurge on every detail and invitations ended up getting bumped further down the priority list, behind my dress and our gorgeous loft.

I decided to take on the enormous task of making our invitations and got this crazy idea to learn calligraphy and address the outer envelopes myself. I love learning new things and as you might have noticed by now, I never shy away from a challenge. The question was, how to start? In the big, wide world of calligraphy, people take things very seriously and it can be a little overwhelming for a newcomer. So I started with a how-to book:

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This was a great book for someone just learning to do calligraphy. I put a lot of research into picking a Calligraphy 101-type book because there were a lot to choose from. It shows you what you need to buy, teaches you the letters, and gives you lines to photocopy and practice on. I'm glad I splurged and spent a whopping $4 buying this used off of Amazon, instead of trying to learn off a website.

(Photo Credit)

I then bought Speedball C-2 and C-3 sized nibs, plus nib holders for each. The book recommended you learn on a C-3 because it's larger and you can see what you're doing better, but I decided that I needed a smaller C-2 sized nib to actually address the invites.

Also, don't forget your ink! I bought black to learn with and silver for the invites. I made sure to not buy the cheapest silver there was, because I was worried it wouldn't stand up to the black envelopes. Even with outrageous NYC prices, I got the two nibs, two nib holders, and two colors of ink for less than $20.

I spent a lot of time practicing each of the letters before I even began trying to write words. I would suggest you start learning at least a month before you have to start addressing. I started about two months before and still could have used more practice!

The finished product!

I ended up being really pleased with how the envelopes turned out. What you can't see from a picture is how sparkly the silver is and how textured the letters look being handwritten with a nib. Were the letters always perfectly spaced, perfectly level, and perfectly written? Ohhh no. But I really love the gorgeous, I-spent-a-lot-of-time-handwriting-this-just-for-you look.

I will say, that out of all of my DIY projects (including the ones you've already seen and the actual invitations), this was the one that came closest to driving me insane. Although we didn't have the money to spend on a professional calligrapher, I personally don't think those people make enough money!

What crazy DIY project almost left you batty? I say almost, Mr. Star and Momma Star might put it another way ;)

Little Puppy, Little Prince

Mr. Star and I have been lucky enough to have had exactly zero wedding-related fights throughout our nearly two year engagement. This is probably because, quite frankly, Mr. Star has been the ideal groom: supportive, interested, terribly excited, and willing to let me craft the wedding into pretty much exactly what I've been envisioning. 

So when he has an idea that he's really got his little heart set on, I just can't turn him down.

Enter: Etsy seller FirstComesLove. We were trolling the wedding vendors on Etsy together one night, early on in the planning stages (I did this a lot, in addition to looking at wedding-related blogs, which helped me enormously in creating a vision). We came across FirstComesLove's ringbearer pillows, which are gorgeous. After a few clicks, Mr. Star pointed to a tiny little doggie-sized ringbearer pillow. The conversation went something like this:

Mr. Star: Aww, look how cute that is! A dog ringbearer would be adorable.

Miss Star: ...Seriously?

Mr. Star: Oh, definitely. Just think about how fun it would be to have our dog there with us on our big day.

Miss Star: Yes, we do love him very much...

Mr. Star: And we don't have any little boys in the family for ringbearer duties, we were just talking about this!

Miss Star: ...

Mr. Star: The pillow is even polka-dotted (boy, does he know me).

Miss star: Welllll...

I hemmed and hawed over it for a few days, wondering what people would think, what people would say. Would people judge us for being the kind of people who included their dog in their wedding party? 

Then I realized how A. insecure and B. selfish I was being. Who cares what other people think, first of all? We're getting married in a theater. If we were worried about what people might say, we've already blown it. And two, Mr. Star has let me do pretty much whatever I wanted to for the wedding without complaint. If he feels so strongly about a specific aspect of the wedding, then he should get his way and I will be happy about it.

So our little ringbearer will be our precious Cavalier King Charles Spaniel named Duncan.

He's an absolute love whom we rescued a little over a year ago when we were graduating from college. The funny part of that story is that we were forced to pick him up three weeks before our apartment lease began or risk not getting him, so we hid him in my tiny dorm room without getting caught for almost a month! That gives you an idea of how well-behaved he is (Shhh, don't tell Hofstra).

We ended up buying the ringbearer pillow from Etsy, as well, and it is adorable:

Puppy Star thinks it looks like great fun to chew on, so I'm pretty sure it's destined to become a doggie toy after the wedding! Now we're just trying to decide if we think Puppy Star can make it down the aisle and to Mr. Star (he really, really loves Mr. Star!), or if we need to have one of Mr. Star's brothers walk down with him.

What wedding details have you compromised on to make your Mister happy? Would you ever consider having a non-standard bearer of rings? ;)

(Both photos by me)

Adventures of a Young-ish Bride, Family Matters

First off, let me say that I absolutely love how my last post touched so many of you young-ish brides out there. It was really amazing to read all of your stories and know that I'm not even close to being alone in struggling with this issue.

So in my quest to continue to help you young-ish brides out there (and in turn get the support of you wonderful bees out there!), I bring you the latest installment in the series: family issues.

Many of you wrote poignant comments about how young your parents got married and how many decades they had made it so far, which I loved reading. My parents were also married young: my mother was 21 and my father was 24. My parents, however, were not quite as lucky. They were married for twelve years (pretty unhappily) and got divorced just before I turned 13. They now are on such poor terms that they do not speak at all.

This, needless to say, did not create warm, fuzzy feelings in my parents about the prospect of my getting married in my early twenties.

Now Mr. Star and I knew we were meant for each other just a couple of short months into our relationship. It was a scary feeling to me knowing that I had found my husband when I was only 20 years old, but I knew deep down inside that he was the one many months before I was ready to say it out loud. Shortly after we were separated for 10 days while I went on an overseas trip with my family and shortly before our one year anniversary, we started talking about getting married and were each surprised by the other feeling ready and sure of our decision.

Mr. Star then had the gumption to ask not just one set of my parents, but two separate sets of parents (Mother/Stepfather and Father/Stepmother) if they would give their blessing to him asking for my hand. My mom consented, but asked that we wait a couple of years before getting married. My father gave him a pep talk and approved, but I later found out from my stepmom that he wished we would take our time marrying, as well. Neither had a problem with Mr. Star himself, but both were concerned about our age.

It is no accident that we have been engaged for nearly two years. My mom even joked at my bridal shower that she had asked us to wait two years and we were getting married nearly two years to the day that Mr. Star asked her for her approval.

I will freely admit that my parents were initially unenthusiastic about wedding planning because of their concern. That made it really difficult to be excited about being engaged at first and caused some hurt feelings on my part.

Why I tell you all this, though, is because I want to give those of you with unsupportive parents some hope. My parents have really come around over the past two years and have both become incredibly helpful in wedding planning lately. My dad and stepmom have helped me assemble aspects of our centerpieces (more on them later!) and my mom is flying all the way to New York from Florida for my dress fitting in September. If you currently have unsupportive parents (for whatever reason), I feel for you, I really do. It's hard. I know. I thought I'd share a few things that helped us move past that, in case they can be of help to any of you:

• Giving our families time to adjust. This was the biggest factor for us, in my opinion. Sometimes your families might just need more time to get used to a major life change like engagement, or sometimes they might need to spend more time watching how the two of you function together before feeling comfortable with your relationship. Either way, if your parents being happy and excited for you is important to you personally, it's worth it to have a long engagement, in my opinion.
  
• Working on getting settled together in other ways before getting married. We had lots of other stuff to do like get an apartment together, graduate from college, start getting our careers off the ground, getting a dog together, etc. I think our parents really benefited from seeing us functioning together as an adult team. We had to weather some storms, too, and I think it helped ease their fears that we were able to cope and work together through them.
  
• Talking to our parents about why we work together. Mr. Star and I both made big efforts to talk each other up to our parents whenever we got the chance. We tried very hard to emphasize why we think we work and what we love about each other. I always tell Momma Star about the sweet things Mr. Star does.
  
• Acknowledging that we're young. We know that we're a young-ish couple. Neither of us try to deny it. In fact, we try to use it to our advantage in our relationships with the in-laws. Whenever we're going through some tough stuff, we each use that opportunity to get advice from the other's family and it brings us closer. I think they all really respect that we're mature enough to know that we don't know everything.
• Growing into a family with the in-laws. We've also both tried really hard to make our in-laws family. We spend holidays together, we send birthday cards, we call when their days aren't going so well...you get the point. While this is something that will always continue to grow and evolve, I think it's made a big difference that we're tried so hard to integrate into each other's families.

One thing that we didn't do right was continuing to include them in our wedding plans. I was so frustrated at their lack of wedding enthusiasm, that I started to make decisions about colors, dresses, and other fun things thinking that they just didn't want to be a part of it. But I ended up hurting some of my family members that way, so I don't recommend it. Hard as it may be, I suggest you keep them in the loop at least a little, even if they tell you that they don't care.

Have any of you been hurt by your families' feelings about your wedding? How have you overcome any family disapproval?

100 Day Doozie: Staying on Top of It All

So today marks the big 1-0-0 for the Star household. I can't believe how quickly everything's coming up!

I thought I'd make a quick list of the major things we have left to accomplish before the big day, if only to make you mid-October ladies feel better. Don't judge me because I've been engaged for almost two years and still have so much left to do ;)

• Officiant paperwork (more on this later)
• Book plane tickets to Greece
• Sign contract with rentals company
• Something old!
• Parent gifts
• Book rehearsal dinner (we already have the restaurant picked out)
• Book a cake baker (one more tasting left to go)
• First dance lessons
• Ceremony. I'm going to leave it at that.
• Finish 2nd veil
• Schedule hair trial and appointments
• Guestbook assembled
• Pick wholesale flowers
• Dress fittings
• Programs
• Seating chart
• Event insurance
• Pay final balances with vendors
• Finish bridesmaid gifts and Mister Star's gift

These are just the large things. There are at least a dozen small tasks and crafts that I'm not even listing here. I'm beginning to feel a little frazzled and like I need another month or two! Luckily for me, I've seen many a Bee get stressed and feel like she couldn't possibly get everything done, but totally pull it off with time to spare! I know we can do it.

What's helping me to stay sane is a little organization. At the beginning of our engagement, I started out with one long list of things to do. Talk about overwhelming. On top of that, I was getting email reminders from The Knot every few weeks nagging me about all the "unfinished to-do list items" that I had piling up. No bueno. Then I stumbled across Mrs. Cheese's post about how she was keeping her last minute to-do list from terrifying her by putting items into either a "sooner" or "later" category, according to the urgency of the task. It sounded like an awesome idea to me and so I created a Google Document with my to-do's organized in this format and spread the word to immediate families and the bridal party that they could take a look at it, too, if they were wondering how they might be able to help.

Unfortunately, this method of organization still wasn't enough for my frazzled self and I still found myself staring at this impossibly long list and wondering where to start. And my bridal party, as awesomely helpful as they've been throughout this process, was having trouble looking at it, remembering that it existed, etc.

Enter: Fairy Bridesmaid, the most organized woman on the face of the planet. She created an Excel spreadsheet for me that is saving my life. She created deadlines of every two weeks and organized my to-do's so that I know exactly what I should be working on next and when it has to be finished by. For instance, there were four items to finish by July 1st, five by July 15, and it continues that way until October.

Old method on the left, Fairy Bridesmaid's schedule on the right

This has been really helping me to not stress out because I have manageable chunks of things to do and always know what the next project should be. At the same time, I don't have everything scheduled to the day because that would probably just make me more tense if I had a busy day and got behind!

What's your method of staying sane?