The Stars Got Hitched!

Hello, Hive! MRS. Star here, reporting live from the other side!

I wanted to share a few quick teasers with you before we jet off to Greece for two weeks on Friday (yay!), because I really need the assistance of some gorgeous pictures to tell this story, since words alone simply won't do.

Before Sunday, I was really worried that, because all of the normal hype of wedding planning added on top of the added pressure of being a wedding blogger who's immersed in wedding blogs and talking about weddings nearly all day long, our wedding day might not be able to live up to the anticipation and excitement surrounding it for two years now. When people used to say that your wedding day is supposed to be the best day of your life, I was concerned that that expectation would make any day pale in comparision.

Well, let me just say, that I was worried over nothing. Sunday truly was the best day of my life thus far. Words can't even describe how amazing the whole experience was. I just kept thinking, "how can it get any better than this?" all day. Mr. Star said, "I wish we could get married every day," and while I know that I wouldn't have the energy for that, I definitely think I could get married once a month, at least ;)

I could go on and on, but I have a honeymoon to pack for, so I think I'll let this fabulous picture help me out:

Our fabulous photographer, John, captured this moment of peacefulness out on our balcony right before us girls left for the ceremony.

A quiet moment snuggling in Grand Central (you know, there were just dozens of people taking our picture and my MOH holding my train, but it was quiet and intimate, I swear!)

I'll give you a quick summary of my favorite parts of our day, since I'll be blogging pictures from our trip to Greece, the bachelorette and bachelor parties, and the rehearsal all before we get another look at the actual wedding:

The top ten most amazing parts of our day:

1. Seeing our college buddies grinding on my mom -- yes, this happened!
   
2. Riding the subway with some unsuspecting New Yorkers who were very much entertained
   
3. Wearing the gorgeous dress I had been lusting over for more than two years and finally getting everyone to agree that it was worth every penny
   
4. Being so excited to walk down the aisle just so I could finally see Mr. Star and hold his hands
   
5. Getting cheered on as Mr. Star lifted me in the air not once, but twice during our choreographed first dance
   
6. Feeling our families truly come together and get along for the first time, with even my brother going so far as to snap at me when I interrupted him talking to "his new brothers!"
   
7. Getting a slow dance with the most gorgeous flowergirl there ever was
   
8. A ceremony that was so "us" and so genuine that it was absolutely the most intense and emotional half an hour of my life. Everything but me and Mr. Star just melted away from my perception.
   
9. That all of our guests noticed and commented on how much work we put into making all the details as perfect as we could
   
10. The overwhelming joy I felt from start to finish -- I have never been so happy. Ever.
    

It was hard to pick just ten.

I'll leave you with a picture that captures the spirit of our evening perfectly. This was during our first dance and I just love how happy Mr. Star looks and how amped up all of our guests are. The whole night was just like this:

All photos by John Martin Photography

Becoming a Young-ish Wife

It all started two long years ago in a little dinner theater in Boston:

In that moment I felt many of the same feelings that I do now: chills of excitement, nervous butterflies, the warm flush of pure joy, and a thrilled hope for the future.

In the few years that I've been in love with Mr. Star, I have transformed from a bitter and sarcastic college girl with plans to never marry and own a lot of cats, into a confident and loving woman-turned-wedding-blogger who loves nothing more than her career and her soon-to-be husband.

It feels like a lifetime since the day that I first told Mr. Star that I loved him, and in all reality, it has been. I have a whole new life ahead of me and a completely new outlook on the world because he has taught me what it's like to truly love a man and be loved in return.

As I write this, I'm sitting here surrounded by so many of my loved ones, laughing and smiling all around. My two little sisters are giggling as my puppy licks their faces and Mr. Star is experimenting with calling Momma Star "Mom" for the first time. It is a truly magical feeling to have a physical circle of love surrounding us to celebrate the beginning of our marriage, and hard to believe that we have so many people willing to go through so much trouble just for our sakes! :)

It has been an honor to share in the circle of love created by the Weddingbee community, as well.

To Bee, Mr. Bee, and Mrs. Penguin -- Thank you for the opportunity to be a part of something so special and for believing that our wedding would be something worth hearing about.

To My Fellow Bees -- Thank you for inspiring me with your craftiness, your honesty, and your love. You have taught me so much about weddings and about life, probably more than you'll ever know.

To The Hive -- You have inspired me to keep on keeping on when the dark days of wedding planning hit. You have supported me when I needed the strength to stand up for what I believe in. You have lavished praise on my crafts that I wasn't sure I could be proud of. You have been one of the most fun parts of my wedding planning and I can't imagine having done this without you all with me, each step of the way!

To Mr. Star -- I would never be here without you, and I mean that in any way you can think of to take it. You are the only man I've ever met worth being a young-ish bride for and the only reason that I was brave enough to apply to be a Bee. I can't wait to see what the future holds for us and share in our successes and disappointments together as the best team imaginable. Times infinity to the infinity power, babe.

It's bittersweet for me to be signing off on my last post as Miss Star. It has been a fabulous journey so far and I can't wait to return to you on the other side as Mrs. Star with beautiful pictures and stories to share. For the last time, my friends, adieu as...

--Miss Star

According to New York City...We're Legal!

Yep, we're procrastinaters. But Mr. Star and I got up really early a few days ago to get to the NYC Marriage Bureau when they opened so that we could be legally ready to marry!

It was a shockingly short visit, probably 20 minutes or less. We basically just had to give our contact info, parents birthplaces, show our ID's, charge some moolah on my credit card, and away we went! Off into the morning glare with our very official-looking paperwork!

We asked some random lady who was handing out fliers if she would take our picture on the steps. And yes, those are the same steps that we protested in front of just a few months ago.

New York City says we're ready to go! It all felt very official to be given the go-ahead legally!

Was getting your marriage license a breeze?

A Card Box Fit For a Manhattanite

Card boxes were never one of those fun, crafty details that I daydreamed about. Let's be frank here, people. It could have just been a big box. But that wouldn't have been ambitious (read: crazy) enough for Miss Star. No, no, no...

My wonderful DOC, Danielle, asked me a couple of weeks ago what I had planned for a card box. Nothing, was my initial answer. She offered to carry them around for us all night, buuuut that just didn't seem fair. So if I was going to put effort into another crafty detail, it was gonna be something awesome.

I wanted to make a non-box-shaped box out of paper mache and I wanted it to be along with our already-established wedding theme (uh, polka dots, showbiz, and NYC?). I thought about trying to make drama masks -- too hard. I thought about a taxi cab -- also too hard. Fairy Bridesmaid suggested the Empire State Building -- I was sold. We live two blocks from the ESB and have an incredible view of it from our rooftop, plus it was a pretty easy shape to create.

First, I took some leftover moving boxes and chopped them up into the appropriate sizes so that they could be duct taped together.

At this stage, it looked pretty shabby and I was slightly concerned. But soldier on I did! Next up, it was time for some paper mache action. One part flour and one part water combined into a bowl, add some (okay, TONS!) of strips of newspaper, recruit Sassy Bridesmaid to help, and voila!

Still super ugly, but much more stable and Empire State Building-esque!

Paint gray, use a black sharpie to spend an hour drawing what seem like endless windows, and slap a card sign on there to get:

A mini-Empire State Building held up next to the real thing!

Yeah, the scale didn't come out quite right and it is a tad large for a card box, but I think it looks awesome! I can't wait for everyone to see it.

Did you use anything unconventional for your card box?

Adventures of a Young-ish Bride, The Bright Side of Things

I realized a few weeks back (after reading Mrs. Swan's awesome post about the challenges and perks of being a bride later in life) that I've done a lot of focusing on the negative aspects of being a young-ish bride and haven't really talked about all the wonderful parts about finding your partner at a young age. I guess it's often more emotionally pressing to write about my gripes and what is bothering me, but I certainly don't want to downplay all the great perks of being a young-ish bride, because there definitely are a lot!

I now present to you, The Perks:

• Experiencing many firsts together : I wrote about this a little in my post Growing Up TOGETHER, but it's such a big plus that I think it bears repeating. We get to be there for so many of life's little firsts that we might have missed if we hadn't found each other later in life! I love that our honeymoon will be Mr. Star's first time overseas and he's so proud of the fact that he took me to my first rock concert (Linkin Park, if you're interested!). We will be able to show our kids pictures of us graduating from college together and they'll think, "Aww, mom and dad had such dorky hair back then." You can't beat that.
  
• You don't have to teach an old dog new tricks : Well, that's kind've a funny way to talk about it, but it's true. If I hadn't found Mr. Star until later on in life, he might have been stuck in his nighttime jean-wearing, on-top-of-the-comforter sleeping ritual for good. Whew ;)
  
• Sense of completeness and peace makes you more successful : I've read articles about it and have noticed the feeling in myself that when you feel at peace and fulfilled in one area of life (such as your romantic pursuits), you are left feeling more emotionally open to accomplish things in other areas (such as your career or personal growth). Basically, when you feel like you've found your soulmate, you can stop spending so much time worrying about dating and finding a mate and devote more energy to the other things in your life that you want to be successful at.
  
• You make a great team and can accomplish things together that you couldn't apart : Mr. Star and I work really well together as a team and have been able to achieve things that I know we couldn't have apart. For example, we live in a really great apartment together, where we obviously share a bedroom. If we had to be paying to live in our own separate bedrooms and have roommates, there's no way we could afford such a nice place! Similarly, when one of us is struggling to find work or stay motivated, the other one is able to pick up the slack and get us back on track. It's really awesome to be a part of a built-in, forever team, as cheesy as that sounds. I definitely feel like it's given us a leg up!
  
• You get to be there firsthand for big family moments : Mr. Star has seen both of my little sisters learn to walk and I have been there for two of his little brothers graduating high school. It's wonderful to be able to be there for these momentous life events, instead of having to see them in pictures later! When you start off as a young-ish couple, you have more time to really become a part of the other person's family unit, which I think is so special.

These are just a few of the reasons why it can be so wonderful to share your life with someone from your young-ish days, on up! There are, of course, many more reasons, but these are the ones that are the most special to me.

You know, though, I didn't ask to be a young-ish bride. In fact, I was convinced for a very long time that I would never marry. It just so happened that I found Mr. Star when I did and that he forever changed my visions for the future.

I hope that by opening up to all of you about the very emotional ups and the downs of young-ish engagement that I've been able to help some of you young-ish brides to feel less alone and less crazy. Maybe I've also helped to soften the minds of a few not-so-young-ish folks out there who might have been thinking that we're all too young, who knows?

On that note, I'll be wrapping up my young-ish bride series. Since we're getting married in just five days (holy smokes!) and I've written about being young and getting married enough to make your eyes bleed, I'll think that's probably for the best.

 I'll leave you with this gem, one of my favorites, and so appropriate:

"When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible" -When Harry Met Sally

Stay strong, my fellow young-ish brides :)

The entirety of the Adventures of a Young-ish Bride Series:
The First in a Series
Family Matters
The Vendor Bender
Mrs. = Boring?
Growing Up TOGETHER
Blazing the Trail
Cover It Up!

Honoring our Gay Friends: Decision Time

I posted a few weeks back about a dilemma I was facing in regards to our ceremony: how to honor the fact that our gay friends are not allowed to marry and make it clear that we have not forgotten them in their struggle for equality, while not riling up our more conservative guests to the point that they want to walk out.

I wanted to thank you all for your comments and the respectful dialogue that you all created because it really helped clear my thoughts on the issue and played a big part in the decision that Mr. Star and I made.

Most of you felt that it would be perfectly reasonable to make mention of our beliefs during the ceremony. Those of you who didn't mostly felt that it was due to the fact that a wedding ceremony is not about politics. And I totally agree, weddings should not be about politics. But to us, the issue of gay civil rights is not just a political issue played out on the national political stage while we stand on the sidelines as spectators. It is an issue that affects the day-to-day lives of many of our friends who are being gracious enough to come celebrate our wedding, even as they still fight for the right to have their own.

No one would feel that it was wrong or "too political" to mention the American Cancer Society or to donate towards the fight for a cure if one of our grandfathers had passed away from lung cancer, yet tobacco legislation is a political issue that is hotly contested up on Capitol Hill. So I don't think it's too unreasonable for us to expect some respect for the ideals we feel are important to mention in our wedding ceremony, much like I respect many religious sentiments that I don't agree with when they are incorporated into my friends' wedding ceremonies.

Do I think that it will change people's minds? Maybe, maybe not. Some of Mr. Star's family has become much more accepting of gay people in their lives since they've spent some time with our many gay friends, so who's to say it won't help? And even if it doesn't, we will feel good about making it known that we have not forgotten about, waffled on, or glossed over what we believe is right.

Momma Star and I sat down together to finish sculpting the text of our ceremony together, and while I'm planning on doing a few posts about writing your own ceremony (post-wedding, of course!), I thought I'd share a little excerpt with you all, since you were such a big part of our decision process:

And as we remember those who are not with us today, we also extend a loving welcome to those of us here today who cannot, by law, take the step Kate and Dan are taking today.  Kate and Dan have taken to the streets more than once raising their voices for your cause, and they know an occasion such as this one can be difficult for you to watch. We thank you for sharing in this ceremony anyway.  In a just world, we will all be free to make a lawful, lifetime commitment to our soul mates, no matter who they are.  Kate and Dan commit to continuing in their efforts to see that just world arrive soon.   Kate promises she will sing at your own wedding.  And Dan promises not to.

Rounding out a very serious issue with some humor, respect for others, and a whole lotta hope for the future.

Thank you, each and every one of you who commented, for your input and respect. If only the whole world was as kind and supportive as Weddingbee, it would be a very different place.

What difficult issues did you grapple with when planning your ceremony?

Guest List Statistics

I remember way back when Mr. Star and I were trying to figure out how to cut our guest list to a reasonable size -- about a year ago now! -- what a tough time we had figuring out exactly how many people we could invite and what the chances were that we would end up with the number of people attending that we were aiming for. We wanted between 80 and 90 guests to celebrate with us on the big day, but didn't know what that translates to in terms of how many people we could invite!

(Photo Credit)

I couldn't find a whole lot of helpful online chatter on the subject at the time. Most often what people said was, "between 50-75% of the people you invite will show up, fewer if a lot of your guests are from out-of-town." Well, that's great, but 50-75% is a pretty damn big margin and when you're trying to decide how many people you can squeeze in down to the very last head, you might be interested in a little more hard data than that. I would have been, anyways. So I'm here to use what I learned about our guest list and RSVP percentages to hopefully help some of you out. Paying it forward, people!

We invited 121 people, 81 of whom will be in attendance. That makes for a 67% yes rate, which is right on target for what we were expecting. Sweet!

Some of the factors that seem to be involved in our (and your!) attendance percentage:

• How many people have to travel from out-of-state : Obviously, the more of your guests who have to travel, the lower your acceptance rate will be. We had 69% of our guests who were traveling from our-of-state and 31% NYC-ers.
  
• How far people have to travel : Same goes for the distance people have to travel -- if you're asking your guests to travel cross-country or internationally, expect fewer people to come
  
• How many people are "courtesy invites" : These people you're inviting just to make them feel all warm and fuzzy, but whom you seriously doubt will actually be able/want to come. The more you have of these, the lower your acceptance rate. Less than 1% of our guests were courtesy invites, which helped boost our "yes" rate.
  
• How many people you are giving +1's to : We were really harsh with this one. Because Mr. Star and I share at least half of our friends, most of our guests know each other. And because we had to be brutal with our guest list in order to afford having our wedding in the city, we didn't give any plus-ones to people who weren't married, engaged or weren't people that we are friends with and would have invited if they weren't dating our friend. I'm pretty sure you would have a higher acceptance ratio if you were including +1's, in addition to having a much larger guest list period. This caused some squabbles in a few places for us, but nothing that we weren't able to handle and 99% of our guests really understood why we were doing it.
  
• How tightly-knit your family is : Some people have extended families who hardly know each other (like most of my family), and others have families who all gather together for Thanksgiving dinner each year (like Mr. Star's). The closer knit your extended family is, the more likely you will have a higher "yes" rate, although there are definitely exceptions to this rule. In our case, the cost of travelling to NYC overruled the closeness of Mr. Star's maternal extended family, but not the paternal side.
  
• If you're inviting children : Not only will you have more invited heads if you're including children, but more people who have kids will be able to come. Not inviting children caused a few of our invites to have to decline, which we expected.
  
• Yours and your significant other's cultural backgrounds : This wasn't a big factor for me or Mr. Star, but I know that there are some cultural backgrounds that take weddings "more seriously" than others. From what I've heard around the boards and from talking to other brides, Hispanic and Italian families (in general) are more likely to do whatever it takes to get to the wedding of their third cousin once removed. I know this makes a big difference in the acceptance rate for some weddings.
  
• The economic times : Although I'm sorry to say it, we live in some tough times, people. Jobs are scarce, money is tight, and while everyone loves a good wedding, it's a fact that the recession has left some families much less able to travel for them. As hard as it can be to get a "no" RSVP, you have to cut your cash-challenged guest list some slack.
  
• How much fun your wedding sounds like! : Haha, just kidding ;)

I hope that some of what I've outlined here helps you to figure out just how many people you can invite. Creating a guest list is a tough project -- godspeed!

What was your acceptance rate if you've already gotten all your RSVP's back or what do you expect it to be if you haven't?

Wedding Wands for a New York City Parade!

One of the other little DIY projects that I really had my heart set on getting done was the idea of having wedding wands for our parade :

I love how festive they look and guests always look like they're having fun in pictures with wedding wands in them!

So I got Sassy Bridesmaid and Fairy Bridesmaid together last week and in just a couple of hours and without spending more than ten extra dollars, we were on our way to having fabulous Star Wedding Wands (are you noticing a trend with the quick and dirty DIY going on over here at the Star household?!?).

We started by painting 40 wooden dowels from Michael's to match our wedding colors. We only made 40 because a few people who can't do the walking are taking cabs instead of the parade and we know for a fact that many of our more masculine guests won't be interested in these sissy things ;)

Then we hotglued (it's been awhile, folks!) ribbons, silk flowers, sparkles, and anything else that was leftover from the favor-mask project to decorate the wands!

Altogether, they look like this:

Pretty, right?

I can't wait for our guests to use them as we celebrate our marriage with gusto through the streets of New York City.

How are you re-purposing leftover wedding craft supplies?