Adventures of Young-ish Bride, the First in a Series

One of the biggest reasons I wanted to blog for WeddingBee was because I see so many Bees on the boards writing about all the really tough issues they're facing as young-ish brides. I say "young-ish" because I've always been kind've old for my age, but know that I still have parts of my maturity that correspond perfectly with the date on my birth certificate. Many of the other bloggers here are in their mid-20's, which is still not ancient by any stretch, but I think brides who are in their early 20's face a unique set of challenges that I haven't seen talked about much on the blog. So here I am, hoping to ease the young-ish brides' concerns and to let you all know that you're not alone and you're definitely not crazy!

At least we're not that young, right?

(Photo Credit)

I am 22 (although I'm turning the big 2-3 on July 11!), but have the added luck and difficulty of looking like I'm about 16, as you might have noticed from some of my pics. One of the hardest parts of being a young-ish bride that I've encountered is the general negativity I get from people I don't know or barely know when they find out that I'm engaged. About a third of the time, people are enthusiastic and supportive, and the rest of the time, the conversation goes something like this:

New Person I'm Meeting: So what did you do this weekend?

Miss Star: Well, I had an audition and then my fiance and I had a picnic in the park and then --

New Person: --Wait, you have a fiance? You're engaged??

Miss Star: Yep, guilty as charged.

New Person: Holy cow, how old are you?

Miss Star: 22, going on 23...

New Person: Wow, you're SO young. I got married at {insert age here} and it was so {insert unpleasant adjective here}

It got so bad that after about 6 months of being engaged, I would tell people I didn't know very well about my "boyfriend," for fear of having someone else play Debbie Downer on my wedding parade. A few months into that, though, and I realized that I shouldn't have to feel ashamed and went back to standing my ground and talking about my fiance. Now my response to "how old are you??" is "old enough to know bad manners!" It might be a little harsh, but I got so tired of having people I barely knew bringing me down!

One of the most frustrating parts of this is also one of the best parts for my Mr. Star. When he talks about his fiancee and his engagement, he never EVER gets queries about his age! I was so shocked when he told me that a few months ago, because he's only a year older than I am! I'm really glad that people don't bug him about it and make him feel bad. But the idea that it's totally okay for a man to get married young, while a woman marrying young-ish must be desperate and impetuous, really irks me!

I was one of those girls in high school who was bitter at the male race and planned to grow old as a loving cat lady, so the idea that I'm marrying my college sweetheart out of naivete just doesn't fit. I didn't try to get married young, I just found the love of my life when I found him! I know there are other Bees for whom that's true, too! 

I'm really hoping to write several more posts about the issues that young-ish brides are facing, so please comment and tell me about your experiences and what you'd like to hear about!